I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
