I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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