Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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