if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
