just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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