Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
