either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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