Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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