don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
