I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
