We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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