I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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