No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
