your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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