That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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