This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
