i don't like sucking hair
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
