Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
PS: I just woke up from my shower
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Randomize
