Im at strip club and am horny
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
false alarm, still single
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
