Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
