You made me cry and you don't even care
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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