Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
