my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
