I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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