I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
