you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My legs feel like baby dolphins
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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