he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
did i walk over a car last night?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
