Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
