i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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