I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
