You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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