Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
