Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
