you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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