omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
