Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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