you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My dad is sitting where you rode me
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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