I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
