Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
