Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
