well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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