Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
