I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
