my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
