Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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