where am i from again
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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