I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Randomize
