When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
