we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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