obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
