Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
