I wanna passion pit in your ass
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
