The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize