My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
